"Lord, Is it I?" (Part One)

One of the most unique moments in the gospels, that sheds light on the reality of the human condition, takes places at the famous last supper.  This is a sacred moment in the history of all Christianity, where the powers of heaven and the theology of the atonement fully begin to be made aware to the apostles which would later preach it, teach it, and administer the sacrament. 

Yet, there is a moment in that event that opens the door to also understanding the nature of the human condition.

It is not a coincidence that at the same event upon which the Savior breaks bread, and serves wine – that he acknowledges the forth coming act of betrayal that would lead to his broken body and split blood – the very body and blood that was being symbolized on that very table.  It was a fitting place to make apparent the required end of his loving mortal ministry – and he does so while sitting at the table with the very soul that would perform such treachery.  There is no greater sign to loving your enemy, turning the other cheek, and giving your cloak also – than supping with the man whom you know will be the catalyst of the most grievance and infamous act of betrayal throughout all human history. It is here that the publicans became prophets, for he truly supped with sinners – even the most vile.

 But for me the moment that reflects honest human nature comes from the apostles themselves when they learn of the upcoming events.  Here in the surroundings of his most trusted friends and associates the Savior motions to them and states that one of them in that room will perform a very act of betrayal that will deliver him up to the very acts which he has prophesied will happen.  In this conversation, he performs another act of mercy by not specifically fingering out the culprit – which act would have undoubtedly resulted in the betrayer’s death.  But in not identifying beyond doubt who it was that was to perform such a treacherous act, he provided an opportunity for learning for the apostles and all of us.

The moment of honest introspection comes at this very moment, when each of the apostles looks at the Savior and asks, “Lord, Is it I?”  There is so much within those few words.  How can these men, who are so dedicated, and have given so much even ask if it could be them that would betray the Lord? 

They can because after the spending so much time with the Savior, they have learned about house fragile human nature is, how sensitive the spirit of the Lord is, and how prevalent the adversary is in his endeavors to thwart the plans of the Lord.  They ask this question because they look honestly within themselves, and realize that given the right circumstances indeed it may be them.

But is this not a question that we all should ask?

We sit in Sunday school and learn of the villains within the scriptures and the ancient stories.  We have moments of revulsion as we read about Laman and Lemuel, Nehor and Korihor, the Lamanites and just as often the Nephites, and even Judas Iscariot himself.  But are these not people, people who are just as fragile as the rest of us?  Do we not look into their stories, their lives, and their personalities and see a little of ourselves?

Are there not times in our lives when that very question, “Lord, is it ?” is the most pressing and honest question that we could ask?  We sit and we listen to stories of betrayal and attitude, we observe and judge others for their acts, and we at time complain about our circumstances and surroundings.  Yet, how often do we ask with sincere and honest introspection, will with intent to learn the answer, and then to action upon that answer – “Lord, is it I?”